Dang--it totally doesn't exist. I did find this though: www.talklikeapirate.com Talk Like a Pirate Day? How did I not know about this? I guess I was out of the country on Sep. 19, but still--why didn't you people e-mail me or something? I'm personally neither pro- nor con- contemporary pirate talking, but it would've been nice at least to be kept informed.